Item: 1 Lonely Planet 2006 Day Planner

It's probably laughable to still have a paper calendar that you write on with pens, but I like it because I can scribble down whatever I just thought of as soon as I think of it, and because it allows me to keep all of my lists in one place.  Besides keeping track of what I'm supposed to be doing on a particular day, it also has in it lists of books to read, places to go, restaurants to try, and people's phone numbers.  Also, I always get a planner with pictures in it. If I can't be traveling the world, I can at least have images from faraway places as part of my daily life.

This week has been most particularly stressful, in a negative way.  I haven't had a week like this in awhile, and I'm glad of it.  I feel, actually, kind of horrible.  I have unreturned calls; I have email messages that I'd like to respond to; I have invitations I haven't even acknowledged.  I don't have that much attention to give to anything I'm doing, and because of that I know I'm not doing a very good job of anything.  My apartment is littered with newspaper sections that I'm saving for some reason or other.  I'm writing stuff that I would tear to pieces if were anybody else's.  My kitchen is in a state that I would consider the ultimate in slobbiness if it were anybody else's.  There are all kinds of news stories I should be keeping up on, but I have only the vaguest sense of what else has gone on this week.

Things I've written down that I was supposed to do this week all have little arrows pushing them to the next day when I didn't do them on the day intended.

A recent book called CrazyBusy by Dr. Edward Hallowell discusses being continually overextended as a way of life.  Hallowell is also an expert on ADD, and he comments that the lifestyle many people live is "increasing toxic stress, making people sick, causing accidents and errors, turning otherwise polite people rude, and reducing the general level of happiness in the population."

The funny thing is, this can be seen as a problem of luxury.  The fact that I have too many appealing options is a good problem.  I have it good: so much going on in the thriving metropolis of Los Angeles, so many people to get to know, so many things to be involved in, so many great things to read.

I feel overwhelmed, and I feel sick, but mostly what I feel is guilt.  Major guilt, because even right now I could be a couple of other places that would have been good to be, but I'm not.  It's not like this all the time, but it's the "turning otherwise polite people rude" line that bothers me.  It's not so much that I feel I have been rude, but I have been highly impatient toward people who were daring to take up my valuable time, and this certainly is not my ideal.