Item: front-page section of the Washington Post, dated Wednesday, September 12, 2001
I kept this newspaper knowing that it would be historically significant, but even then it seemed weird to me that the date on it was September 12. This is, of course, because at the time the morning paper came out on September 11, September 11 hadn't happened yet.
I also think it's interesting that we still refer to this event by the date. You sometimes hear it called "The Attacks on the World Trade Center," but that hasn't really stuck. "September 11" was a way we could refer to something we had no vocabulary for. It almost has the sound of a euphemism.
And now it's been 5 years since it happened. The below notes, in no particular order, are from things I wrote or thought or remembered about September 11 in some context between then and now.
=
1. Sometime that evening, after it was all over, the regular dj came back on the rock station in Washington and talked about how it had been the worst day that he could remember. "But," he said, "you know, they keep saying we've got to get back to normal, and they say that music heals, so here goes." Thus ended the 8-10 hours of 9/11 reporting, and the playlist resumed. The first song he played after this comment was Pearl Jam's "Alive," which contains both the soaring line "I'm still alive," and also the question: "And do I deserve to be?"
2. Initially, none of us could figure it out, out of the few clues and rumors that were available. Somebody's attacking us. "Huh?" was the response. Such a thing had clearly never been seriously contemplated before, by most of us ordinary citizens.
3. What do I mean, after it was all over. It hasn't ended yet. There's been no reversion to the carefree airplane-flying ways, nor has there been a clear transition to a new era, instead an uneasy mix of denial and dramatic measures. Trying to have it both ways. I don't know if we have yet absorbed the shock.
4. That night I went to an impromptu church service in the chapel. Outside were reporters working the crowd for human-interest personal angles.
5. I walked home from work on Tuesday, a two-hour walk in the middle of the day, up Connecticut Avenue. It was a long continuous line of people, more continually joining from side streets, smooth as if practiced for a long time. There were lines at the ATMs.
6. I did not see the men and women jumping until later. A friend of mine compared it to watching the demolition of 3 Rivers Stadium, except that there were people in there.
7. In the days afterward, a sort of dumb bland innocence prevailed. The little sister who suddenly pulled her hand out of the cookie jar and put it behind her back. We weren't doing anything, and they just came and attacked us. We would never do anything like that. Who decided that this was going to be our nation's response?
8. You heard about noncommittal couples who decided they needed each other at this time. I had the same feeling, but there wasn't anybody.
9. It's darker than death out there.
10. How long did it take before the email eulogies started coming: the one about staying out of malls on Halloween, the one about how we should all light a candle and go outside at 7 o'clock. I deleted these things and tried not to grudge people their ways of thinking about it. Funny thing was, one evening driving down the street, we saw a few people scattered up and down the street, sitting out on the sidewalk in lawn chairs and on blankets, holding candles, hands cupped around them to keep them from blowing out.
11. Does anyone still think about it? Does anyone wonder about the justice and no justice of it all? How much time do you think we have?
I also think it's interesting that we still refer to this event by the date. You sometimes hear it called "The Attacks on the World Trade Center," but that hasn't really stuck. "September 11" was a way we could refer to something we had no vocabulary for. It almost has the sound of a euphemism.
And now it's been 5 years since it happened. The below notes, in no particular order, are from things I wrote or thought or remembered about September 11 in some context between then and now.
=
1. Sometime that evening, after it was all over, the regular dj came back on the rock station in Washington and talked about how it had been the worst day that he could remember. "But," he said, "you know, they keep saying we've got to get back to normal, and they say that music heals, so here goes." Thus ended the 8-10 hours of 9/11 reporting, and the playlist resumed. The first song he played after this comment was Pearl Jam's "Alive," which contains both the soaring line "I'm still alive," and also the question: "And do I deserve to be?"
2. Initially, none of us could figure it out, out of the few clues and rumors that were available. Somebody's attacking us. "Huh?" was the response. Such a thing had clearly never been seriously contemplated before, by most of us ordinary citizens.
3. What do I mean, after it was all over. It hasn't ended yet. There's been no reversion to the carefree airplane-flying ways, nor has there been a clear transition to a new era, instead an uneasy mix of denial and dramatic measures. Trying to have it both ways. I don't know if we have yet absorbed the shock.
4. That night I went to an impromptu church service in the chapel. Outside were reporters working the crowd for human-interest personal angles.
5. I walked home from work on Tuesday, a two-hour walk in the middle of the day, up Connecticut Avenue. It was a long continuous line of people, more continually joining from side streets, smooth as if practiced for a long time. There were lines at the ATMs.
6. I did not see the men and women jumping until later. A friend of mine compared it to watching the demolition of 3 Rivers Stadium, except that there were people in there.
7. In the days afterward, a sort of dumb bland innocence prevailed. The little sister who suddenly pulled her hand out of the cookie jar and put it behind her back. We weren't doing anything, and they just came and attacked us. We would never do anything like that. Who decided that this was going to be our nation's response?
8. You heard about noncommittal couples who decided they needed each other at this time. I had the same feeling, but there wasn't anybody.
9. It's darker than death out there.
10. How long did it take before the email eulogies started coming: the one about staying out of malls on Halloween, the one about how we should all light a candle and go outside at 7 o'clock. I deleted these things and tried not to grudge people their ways of thinking about it. Funny thing was, one evening driving down the street, we saw a few people scattered up and down the street, sitting out on the sidewalk in lawn chairs and on blankets, holding candles, hands cupped around them to keep them from blowing out.
11. Does anyone still think about it? Does anyone wonder about the justice and no justice of it all? How much time do you think we have?
posted by Karen at 6:43 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home