Item: 1 copy of Miss Manners' Guide to Domestic Tranquility
Miss Manners is one of the few individuals in the business of giving advice whose advice I would actually follow. Most of the time I think the advice given by columnists is stupid, but in the case of Miss Manners' advice I find the imprint of a person I feel compelled to admire.
By the nature of what she does, she's setting herself up to be unpopular in various circles, in her regard for old-fashioned or formal ways of doing things. But she is never apologetic about saying that a rule must be followed or hesitant in telling people the truth. She won't excuse people from failing to respond to a dinner invitation because they're waiting to see if something better comes along, or not writing thank-you notes because they're too busy.
Other than the habit of referring to herself in third person, there is nothing prissy about Miss Manners, which is why she is so much fun to read. Her sheer intelligence and way of taking apart a person's argument are a little intimidating, actually. And there's the unmistakable grain of truth in what she says, because she never for a second fails to take into account human nature, such as the fact that people who attend a dinner party are likely to talk about the other party attendees afterwards.
I think part of what makes Miss Manners come off so trustworthy is that she understands etiquette in somewhat ethical terms. Fundamentally all of her answers are about morality, and I don't really find that quality in others who dispense etiquette, like Emily Post or Letitia Baldridge. Miss Manners tells people not to have a private conversation with your friend and exclude the other person in the room because it conveys a lack of respect for that other person, and ultimately, it hurts everyone when we have a society where such rudeness becomes commonplace.
As it says in the conclusion of this book, "The foundation of a civilized household is made with such qualities as respect, generosity, hospitality, and shared time and resources. These things are not subject to going in and out of fashion."
By the nature of what she does, she's setting herself up to be unpopular in various circles, in her regard for old-fashioned or formal ways of doing things. But she is never apologetic about saying that a rule must be followed or hesitant in telling people the truth. She won't excuse people from failing to respond to a dinner invitation because they're waiting to see if something better comes along, or not writing thank-you notes because they're too busy.
Other than the habit of referring to herself in third person, there is nothing prissy about Miss Manners, which is why she is so much fun to read. Her sheer intelligence and way of taking apart a person's argument are a little intimidating, actually. And there's the unmistakable grain of truth in what she says, because she never for a second fails to take into account human nature, such as the fact that people who attend a dinner party are likely to talk about the other party attendees afterwards.
I think part of what makes Miss Manners come off so trustworthy is that she understands etiquette in somewhat ethical terms. Fundamentally all of her answers are about morality, and I don't really find that quality in others who dispense etiquette, like Emily Post or Letitia Baldridge. Miss Manners tells people not to have a private conversation with your friend and exclude the other person in the room because it conveys a lack of respect for that other person, and ultimately, it hurts everyone when we have a society where such rudeness becomes commonplace.
As it says in the conclusion of this book, "The foundation of a civilized household is made with such qualities as respect, generosity, hospitality, and shared time and resources. These things are not subject to going in and out of fashion."
posted by Karen at 6:20 PM
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